day 04: a song that makes you sad

I have a complicated relationship with the Grateful Dead. Since it's sperm donor's favorite band (and a stoner band), I've hated the group for years by association. Last year, however, my company's fitness instructor began playing a mix of the Dead's hits during class,¹ "Box of Rain" being first, and there was no denying the beauty of the songs -- "Box of Rain" in particular.

I listened to it on repeat for weeks on end, making it a break-up song after sobbing when Phil Lesh sings: "Maybe you're tired and broken / Your tongue is twisted / with words half spoken / and thoughts unclear." Digging deeper into the rest of its lyrics, it's an even more appropriate break-up song. It makes me cry when I think about how quickly the relationship turned sour, and I tear up when wondering why a cancer to my family couldn't have been taken by the disease instead of someone else.

¹ And I remembered all the songs from my childhood, even the lyrics in come cases, though more than a decade had passed since I last listened to them. I've always had a good memory, but it was impressive that day.